Hey Lovely Boy,
It's been a minute since I wrote to you here. As you know I talk to you in my heart all of the time. I'm grateful for the little signs around me that kindle a reassuring feeling that you are still with me in spirit.
This week I find myself in San Antonio, Texas. I came down to the Lonestar state for work and stayed for a few extra days to hang out with Chaz who is at the Navy base here. He's well into C-school and will soon be a fully trained Navy Corpsman. You would be so ridiculously proud of him! Xanny, well, I'll write about him in another post. He's wonderful and happy. :)
Anyhow, I found myself here in SATX during the time of Dia de Los Muertos - the Day of the Dead. It's such a beautiful part of the Latino culture that they recognize and honor and remember and celebrate the lives and loves of our departed family and friends.
There was a wonderful river parade on the first night I was here. At first, I was going to just wander down to stand in the free viewing area to see the colorful barges sail past and wave from afar. I was asking directions to this place from a police officer when a kindly man from the restaurant I was standing in front of offered me the option to purchase a seat to view the parade from their riverwalk veranda. A chair and a margarita sounded like the best accompaniment for this event and so I took him up on it.
I found my seat and before long I was joined by a lovely couple on my left. Christine and Paul are from Odessa, TX and we struck up a conversation. It didn't take long for us to touch on the subject of our departed loved ones...I mean this is the scene we were in, right? It turns out that Paul's son had died six years ago of suicide. We shared pictures and stories of our boys and laughed and cried a bit, too.
Yesterday after work I went on another walkabout to see what I could see. The city is in a flurry getting ready for a full weekend of Dia de Los Muertos celebrations. Chaz and I are going to spend the day today immersed in them. I thought I'd scope it out ahead of time. Besides, it was a lovely night and I didn't want to miss out stuck in the hotel. LOL!
The path took me into the heart of where the Ofrendas were being set up by families and church groups and students. All of the sugar skulls and decorations and the pure emotion in the air brought me to tears thinking of you. You loved those sugar skulls so much. The tender, reflective and joyful expression of this culture for the departed beloved ones really got me. I could not stop the tears and eventually gave up walking and just sat on a bench to be with the feelings.
It didn't take very long before a very kind woman came to ask if I was okay. I told her yes, I'm just remembering my boy. We had a good talk. She shared her grief and joy story and I shared mine. We hugged and she told me not to be sad...this is a day to invite you home. No one wants to come home to visit sad mom. That made me laugh!
Throughout the rest of the evening, I felt like I had a sign on my forehead saying, "Ask me about my beloved departed one..." Because so many people did. They wanted to know your name and to hear your story. One woman cried and gave me a huge hug after seeing my family tattoo...the one with your ashes in the ink.
As my legs grew weary (13,000 steps!) and I wound my way back to the hotel I went to bed with you on my mind. You showed up in a dream in the most peculiar circumstances. You were in trouble and were trying to keep it from me. Of course, I found out and together we vanquished the threat but not until we had some heart-to-heart talks about trust. I'm still sitting with this one. There is more to learn.
I thought about the Ofrendas and how I could make one for you right now. So I did...it's a digital version but no less heartfelt in its creation. I hope you feel my love, wherever you are. I brought in some images of your favorite things along with the traditional Ofrenda items. The veil is thin and the door is open. I have laid a table and I hope you'll drop by to say hi to all of us who miss and love you so very much.
Mamacita,
Love from San Antonio
